I've been a little busy...

Seriously, a lot busy.  With a big move to Germany, I haven't had 1) access to my measuring tape and 2) time to even think about measuring my body.

But, today... as I unpacked the box that happened to have my measuring tape in it, I stopped to take my measurements.  Here's what I found... I've lost 8.5 inches since January and 68.25 inches in total!!!!

I wasn't happy though to see my bust shrink another 2 inches.  Ugh.  BUT I was very happy to see my waist and hips still shrinking!! Yay!

Click on image below to see it bigger!

May - Then and Now

A year ago... my life changed.  It changed in ways it has never changed before.

- My husband came home from Iraq for almost a month.
- My mother died.
- I lived my last month as a fat girl.

I've been going back looking at a lot of pictures from May of 2010 and realizing how fat I really was.  I mean... I knew the number on the scale said 325 and holy shit, that is a lot... but I never really truly looked at myself as being that big.   I saw the pictures, I knew I was huge... but I never really felt it in my core that I was so big.

I guess I always felt I looked, even at 325lbs, the way I do now... beautiful.   I guess I was in denial.  Because 325lbs was not beautiful.  

And.... to be really honest here.  I do not know what my husband saw in that fat girl.  Seriously.  She is not pretty. I feel so blessed to know that my husband loves me for who I really am inside.

Let's take a look back at some pictures of me from a month before my surgery - May 2010.

My husband is so tiny sitting next to me. 

The baby shouldn't be the same size as my face. 

I'm was the size of all three of my friends put together.  Sad. 

The width of my midsection and the size of my neck astound me looking back at these pictures. 

Let's move on to the good stuff..... here are some pictures from May 2011.   This is how I've always pictured myself looking.  It's amazing to finally realize that I'm actually there.  I'm healthy, in shape, and at a weight where I don't look like a balloon.  

Is that my neck and cheeks?  I actually have a face! 

Uhm... am I actually smaller across than my husband now?  YES!

:) Happy :) 

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Weight Loss Recap
Today's weight: 186lbs
Total weight loss: 139lbs
Weight loss since surgery: 128lbs
BMI: 29.1

Happy Birthday to Me!

Last year on my birthday I weighed 325lbs.  This year on my birthday I weighed 202lbs.

123lb difference!!

I spent the day with my BFF Jen at the Hard Rock Cafe, the same place we went last year! So, of course, I had her take some pictures so I could do a side-by-side comparison of the difference a year can make!

Click on the picture to make it bigger! 

We tried going up on the roof so I could get the same picture as last year, but it was closed.  So we went out on the street and got this shot for the comparison!

Click on the picture to make it bigger! 

I'm really looking forward to seeing what the next year brings me!!! Just about 26 days or so until I start my journey with my family to Germany! 

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Weight Loss Recap

Today's weight: 201lbs
Total weight loss: 124bs
Weight loss since surgery: 113lbs

Bras and Boobs

Ok men... you might want to stop reading, cause this one is more of a post the ladies can relate with!! haha

Bras and Boobs!

So, back when I was fat (ha! I love saying that!) and weighed 325lbs... I was a 44C... probably even a 46, but I wouldn't let myself buy that big of a bra. I had a really hard time finding bras that weren't expensive, that were cute and that fit.  I really only had one choice of where to get bras.... Lane Bryant.  Torrid had some, but they always ran a little too small for me.  Lane Bryant bras ran about $35-50 each and sometimes had sales... so I'd get two during their buy one get one half off.

Back in September... I decided it was time to buy new bras.  So, I went to the only place I knew... Lane Bryant... and got sized.  40D.  Huh?  D?  Seriously? I just lost 80lbs... how did my boobs get bigger?  I had the lady measure again and yup... my boobs were BIGGER!!  When I stopped to think about it... it kinda made sense, right?  My body got smaller around, making my cup size bigger?? Or maybe more of what it truly was?? Ugh.   I don't know. So, I bought two new bras for A LOT of money in size 40D.  Fine.  I have bigger boobs.  Whatever.

Yesterday,  my friend Desi took me to Ross to shop for bras.  Ross, I thought, really? They don't have anything that will fit me?  Oh... I was wrong.  They had bras.  TONS of them.  And... get this... for only $5.99!!!  What? GET OUT OF TOWN!!!! Hells yes!!!

Ok, so I'm in the fitting room and I get to tryin' on some of these super cute bras.  38D.  Yup.... got even smaller.  I'm in the land of the 30's now! YEEEAHHHOOOOOO!!!  I even tried on some 38C's but really my boobs just don't fit into them.   So.... D cup I am!  And a 38 at that!  Hecks yeah!!

I don't know if I've ever been a 38 as an adult.  Maybe back in high school... I don't really remember what size I wore back then.  But even then, I was a size 18/20 and now I'm a 14... so I couldn't have been a 38.

So, here they are... my new $5.99 bras.  Great price... even better size.

PS.  Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm going back to the same restaurant that I went to last year and that all my "before" pictures are from.  Yeah, that's me at my highest weight up there in the black and white dress... 325lbs.  I bought a new dress and plan to take some new pictures for a big "One Year Later" blog post!!! Can't wait!!!

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Weight Loss Recap

Today's weight: 202lbs
Total weight loss: 123bs
Weight loss since surgery: 112lbs

How my relationship with food has changed

Last week I was interviewed about how I'm able to continue to blog about food (via JavaCupcake.com), enjoy food and lose weight.  It really got me thinking about how my relationship with food has changed over the last six months.

Before the surgery, I loved to eat because of how it made me feel.  I could break open a package of Oreos in the comfort of my quiet living room, have a tall glass of milk and dunk a whole row of cookies.  I'd stop at the donut shop, pick up three of my favorite and eat them while watching The View after taking Emily to school.  I'd eat an appetizer, full entrée, dessert and a soda while out to dinner with friends.  I would feel satisfied, happy, content... and for those moments while I was eating, nothing else mattered except how it made me feel. I baked and cooked because the food tasted good, because it filled a void, because I was missing something inside and I was using that food to replace it.

Today, my relationship with food is a lot different.  I bake and cook because it makes OTHERS happy.  I get joy in seeing the looks on others faces when they bite into one of my cupcakes.  Sheer joy.  It's almost like a high.  Whenever Dave brings in leftover cupcakes to work... I ask for specific details on what his soldiers said and how they reacted.  I NEED to feel that joy.  It's addictive.

I don't eat food to fill a void anymore.  Why?  Because I physically can't.  My pouch (as I call my stomach) is only a few ounces big making it impossible to get in as much food as I used to.  So, I can't use food to fill anything.  I have to use to it make myself healthy and give my body the nutrients it needs to continue to lose weight.  I have to chose the right things to put in my mouth... and if I don't my body tells me and I get sick.  It's not fun.  Trust me.

So what does that mean really for my relationship with food?  I see food now differently... because I can't use it to enjoy physically... I use it to enjoy my life socially.   Being a food blogger, baking delicious cupcakes and brought me to be a part of a community of people who are like minded.  I have made friends, gone to countless social gatherings and have created memories for a lifetime.... all based on food.  Cupcakes!  Do I have to eat every cupcake in front of me?  No!  I allow myself a bite or two.  I order something I want to eat at dinner... but I don't over indulge.  I use that time around food to enjoy the company I am with.  Food brings people together.  It always have and always will... and I don't have to give that up.  I will embrace it.  Use it.  Enjoy it.

Food has brought me closer to people, made new friends and has enriched my life more in the last year than it has my whole life of stuffing it in my face.

Does that make any sense?

I'm really looking forward to seeing what new connections I can make through food in 2011 and in my travels in Germany, the UK and Europe!!!

This picture was from Dec. 21, 2010. 

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Weight Loss Recap

Today's weight: 210lbs
Total weight loss: 115lbs
Weight loss since surgery: 104lbs

BMI

BMI - Body Mass Index... it can be quite scary to think about how this number labels you.  Your BMI is a measure of your body fat based on your height and weight.

BMI Categories:

• Underweight = <18.5
• Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
• Overweight = 25–29.9
• Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

Before my surgery, I weighed 325lbs and was 5'7''.  My BMI was 50.9.

Today, I weigh 210lbs and am still 5'7''.  My BMI is 32.9.  

WOW... What a HUGE difference.  Although I'm still in the "Obesity" category... That's a lot of BMI points to lose in six months!

I'm looking forward to seeing what my BMI will be in another six months!

To calculate your BMI, goto this site: http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

An update of photos...

Well, I don't have much new to say... other than HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!  11 years ago she was born and I'm happy to report I weigh less than I did even before I got pregnant with her!! Yay!

Anyhoo... I do however have some recent photos to share!  As of this morning I'm down 109lbs and am feeling fabulous!  Another 17lbs until I reach my main goal of being under 200lbs! I wonder if I can do that before we move... I think that'd be awesome.  I should probably stop sneaking Christmas cookies though for that to happen.  haha

Oh... tomorrow, I go in for my 6 month check-up with my surgeon.  I get to find out how my vitamin levels are doing, protein levels, etc are.  Also, I'm going to ask him for a referral to a surgeon in Germany AND when I can start thinking about the full body lift to get rid of all this extra skin!! :) Yay!!

On to the pictures!

I'm all dressed up in my new outfit (yes, that's a waist I have!! hehe), make up done at Sephora, hair all cute.... looking fantabulous!! And really... .feeling even better! 

This is me and my best friend Desi of almost 20 years! We met the summer before high school started and now she lives just a few minutes away from me!  This picture was taken last night before we left for a party! Aren't we sexy? 

My handsome husband :)  We look so cute together! 

This is me and Jen on my birthday in Feb. 2010. 

This is me and Jen last night.  WOW! Big difference! 

And cause it's her birthday... an extra picture of me and my babygirl Emme  from last night! 

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Weight Loss Recap

Today's weight: 216lbs
Total weight loss: 109lbs
Weight loss since surgery: 98lbs

JavaCupcake Before & After

I've been blogging at JavaCupcake.com since January 2009... and since then I've attended a few events.

Back in February of this year, I attended Cupcake Camp Seattle where I had a display of my cupcakes and took a picture standing behind it.

Today, I participated in Will Bake for Food where I had my cupcakes and other goodies on display and took another pictures behind it.

105lbs later.... I look so different!!!! I thought this was a cool side-by-side photo though... what a huge difference this surgery has made! I look like a completely different person!

CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO SEE IT LARGER!

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Weight Loss Recap

Today's weight: 220lbs
Total weight loss: 105bs
Weight loss since surgery: 94lbs

100 POUNDS!!!!

I finally made it to 100lbs lost!  Actually, when I stepped on the scale this morning, it was 101lbs!  Even better! :) These last 4 lbs have come off so slow.  I'd been hovering around 97-99lbs lost for about 2 1/2 weeks and then BAM I'm at 101.  Thank goodness!! Finally across that 100lbs mark!

I made two before & after pictures for this big milestone.  The first with the "before" pic I've used for all the others and then another pic I found from the summer of 2008.

I was looking in the mirror tonight and my husband comes in.  I was standing up straight and noticing how flat my tummy was getting and how much thinner my midsection is.  He said, "GOD DAMN!" in that loud, surprised, I wanna do my wife right now kinda voice!! hehe It was the best compliment ever!

Still figuring out how to get in enough calories, enough protein and keep the sugar and fat intake to a minimum. It's SO HARD to do!  But, I'm only 4 1/2 months out and I'm still learning how to do this!

Another 25 lbs and I'll be under 200lbs!  I can't wait for that milestone!  It's my next goal!  And then.... after that, who knows!! I'll cross that bridge when I get to it!

Oh ps... I can't wait until I get to a weight where I can have plastic surgery to get rid of all the extra skin.  I have this massive spare tire around my middle that's comprised of extra skin!  ACK!  I need to get rid of it ASAP!  I hate it!!

Went shopping this week too.  Into a size 16/18 jean.  Seriously.  I haven't been that size since 10th grade.  I went to Target and could actually shop in the normal size section!  AWESOME feeling!!! I love shopping!!

Yay for Weight Loss Surgery!!!

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Weight Loss Recap

Today's weight: 224lbs
Total weight loss: 101lbs
Weight loss since surgery: 90lbs

75lbs - Before & After

Last night was EPIC!  Dave's platoon had an all expenses paid cruise on an Argosy boat in downtown Seattle.  I got to buy some new clothes for the event and I was SO EXCITED to be able to fit into super cuteness from Torrid in a smaller size than before!! Of course.... TONS of pictures were taken, but none of just me.  So here's one with everyone cropped out in a before & after!

Before & After - the first 50lbs

BEFORE

February 2010 - At my highest weight 325lbs

AFTER

July 2010 - 275lbs  (50lbs lost!)

Here's a side-by-side look!