Sunday, January 2, 2011

How my relationship with food has changed

Last week I was interviewed about how I'm able to continue to blog about food (via, enjoy food and lose weight.  It really got me thinking about how my relationship with food has changed over the last six months.

Before the surgery, I loved to eat because of how it made me feel.  I could break open a package of Oreos in the comfort of my quiet living room, have a tall glass of milk and dunk a whole row of cookies.  I'd stop at the donut shop, pick up three of my favorite and eat them while watching The View after taking Emily to school.  I'd eat an appetizer, full entrée, dessert and a soda while out to dinner with friends.  I would feel satisfied, happy, content... and for those moments while I was eating, nothing else mattered except how it made me feel. I baked and cooked because the food tasted good, because it filled a void, because I was missing something inside and I was using that food to replace it.

Today, my relationship with food is a lot different.  I bake and cook because it makes OTHERS happy.  I get joy in seeing the looks on others faces when they bite into one of my cupcakes.  Sheer joy.  It's almost like a high.  Whenever Dave brings in leftover cupcakes to work... I ask for specific details on what his soldiers said and how they reacted.  I NEED to feel that joy.  It's addictive.

I don't eat food to fill a void anymore.  Why?  Because I physically can't.  My pouch (as I call my stomach) is only a few ounces big making it impossible to get in as much food as I used to.  So, I can't use food to fill anything.  I have to use to it make myself healthy and give my body the nutrients it needs to continue to lose weight.  I have to chose the right things to put in my mouth... and if I don't my body tells me and I get sick.  It's not fun.  Trust me.

So what does that mean really for my relationship with food?  I see food now differently... because I can't use it to enjoy physically... I use it to enjoy my life socially.   Being a food blogger, baking delicious cupcakes and brought me to be a part of a community of people who are like minded.  I have made friends, gone to countless social gatherings and have created memories for a lifetime.... all based on food.  Cupcakes!  Do I have to eat every cupcake in front of me?  No!  I allow myself a bite or two.  I order something I want to eat at dinner... but I don't over indulge.  I use that time around food to enjoy the company I am with.  Food brings people together.  It always have and always will... and I don't have to give that up.  I will embrace it.  Use it.  Enjoy it.

Food has brought me closer to people, made new friends and has enriched my life more in the last year than it has my whole life of stuffing it in my face.

Does that make any sense?

I'm really looking forward to seeing what new connections I can make through food in 2011 and in my travels in Germany, the UK and Europe!!!

This picture was from Dec. 21, 2010. 

Weight Loss Recap
Today's weight: 210lbs
Total weight loss: 115lbs
Weight loss since surgery: 104lbs


C&C Cakery said...

I completely understand what you're saying - sharing home-crafted goodies is really the best part of baking and tweaking new recipes. You're attitude towards food is wonderful - Way to go girl! I'm sure you'll be inspiring lines of ladies on your journey down the road to health! The best of luck!

CrystalAM said...

Betsy I totally love reading your blog, you are so inspiring and encouraging! I found your blog through Katrina A :)

Toni said...

Looking good Betsy, you are such an inspiration.